Loss comes in so many forms.
A portion of an inch too close between two skates and an ice dancing pair falls, knowing in that instant their plans and training and hopes for an Olympic medal is out of their reach.
A day, like any other day, you see your loved one off on their way. By the end of that day you catastrophically realize you will not see that person again.
A word said in haste and a meaningful relationship is unexpectedly ended.
We each have some loss. I imagine as time passes, the intensity of the loss pain lessens, but never quite goes away. There is always a chance that nerve will be struck and unexpected trauma hits. Then, without our consent, the memories flood in and we are right back in the moment.
Why wasn’t my skate just a tiny bit forward? Everything would have been different.
Why didn’t anyone stop that kid in so many of the possible touch points of his life? What could have stopped that from happening?
When will I ever learn to keep my big fat mouth shut?
Oh dear one, it is so immensely impossibly not helpful to try to relive the moment, imagining a different outcome. It simply is what it is. Sure, things could be different right now. Your hopes and dreams might have come true. Or things could have ended up exactly at the same point or worse. Go to sleep dear one. Rest and heal.