I ended last night trusting that I am in transition and this too shall pass.

And then I wake up AGAIN, early in the morning, before the run rises, before my alarm clock rings.  I lay in the dark and sense the very palpable, physical pain of aloneness.  I feel it people.  It hurts.  I lay in bed and feel it.  It’s dark and cold and quiet and alone.

And then I hear the tinkle of a small bell and I feel the pressure of a tiny body on my stomach and I sense the reverberation of a purring animal on my chest.

It is Gray and he has come to wish me a good morning.

Oh my God, thank you for Gray.  I’m pretty sure he is here to remind me I am not alone.  When he comes to sit on my chest on mornings like this, I am reminded that I am not alone.


The day is almost done and my eyelids are heavy with tiredness.  I had an amazingly full day.  I started and ended it listening to people of faith talk about God and justice and holiness and wisdom.

My eyes are soooo heavy I have to shut down this computer but I have so much I want to write.

I want to make notes so I can return to topics which are rich in my mind:

-I’m not lonely

-My flow of love is being blocked

-Trauma of slavery

-Romans 8:28


-Prohibition creates longing

-Achieving isn’t achieving

-It does NOT have to make sense


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