I ended last night trusting that I am in transition and this too shall pass.
And then I wake up AGAIN, early in the morning, before the run rises, before my alarm clock rings. I lay in the dark and sense the very palpable, physical pain of aloneness. I feel it people. It hurts. I lay in bed and feel it. It’s dark and cold and quiet and alone.
And then I hear the tinkle of a small bell and I feel the pressure of a tiny body on my stomach and I sense the reverberation of a purring animal on my chest.
It is Gray and he has come to wish me a good morning.
Oh my God, thank you for Gray. I’m pretty sure he is here to remind me I am not alone. When he comes to sit on my chest on mornings like this, I am reminded that I am not alone.
The day is almost done and my eyelids are heavy with tiredness. I had an amazingly full day. I started and ended it listening to people of faith talk about God and justice and holiness and wisdom.
My eyes are soooo heavy I have to shut down this computer but I have so much I want to write.
I want to make notes so I can return to topics which are rich in my mind:
-I’m not lonely
-My flow of love is being blocked
-Trauma of slavery
-Prohibition creates longing
-Achieving isn’t achieving
-It does NOT have to make sense