The End?

When I was a teenager I cut my ankle while shaving my legs.  It was a cut right above where the ankle bone protrudes out.  I remember there was a lot of blood.  Just thinking about it is causing my leg to tense up.

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I do not like that WordPress has started putting ads onto my posts.  I have to pay $3/month to get them removed.  I am sorry that you have to see stupid ads.

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Writing on a blog started as a way for me to keep people updated on my health status when I was going through chemo.  Yesterday I met with Dr. Jonas.  I meet with him every three months.  I do blood tests.  He asks me standard questions.  He checks my body for normal lymph node sizes.

Yesterday I waited more than an hour for him to see me.  He had a very bad leg injury about 6 months ago, had to take some time off, and is now spending extra time with each patient to make sure he didn’t miss anything while gone.  Dr. Jonas cares a lot about his patients and I am thankful he was my doctor.  I asked him if I can go to just coming in every 6 months.  He said, it was not normal, but as long as I continue to do my bloodwork every three months, it is OK.

Thanks for following my health updates.

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Then the writing became “Bearing Fruit”, my effort to stay focused on God, my effort to manage divorce, my love or writing…all satisfied.

Life is on to a new phase.  I am mostly happy.  I have new tools for managing my emotions.  Some new people in my life, others phasing out.  Relationship change is NOT easy for me when it means disconnecting a rope thread by painful thread.

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Earlier this week I was shaving my legs.  Instinctively, 35 years later, I still go tentatively over that spot above my ankle bone where I cut myself so many years ago.

Wounds heal but many are never forgotten.  Perhaps there is a visible scar.  Perhaps there is a numbness or a sensitivity.  Perhaps there is just a memory.

Being in a relationship and marriage with someone from age 18-46 is meaningful.  I don’t understand.  I don’t like it.  But somehow….all things in the universe are unfolding.

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I probably won’t write again until I get this ad thing figured out.  I don’t want to be extorted to pay to get rid of the ads.  Yet, I thank WordPress for providing this venue on which I have been able to write and connect.  It’s a next phase.

I am happy.

Guy #3 asked me to be his girlfriend on May 4th.  He likes to sway to music.  He asks me about my night dreams.  He speaks my Jesus language.

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